Sunday, December 27, 2009

To the Associated Press: My Pick for Editor of the Year

Dear Associated Press:

You've finally brought me to this, an imaginary conversation, with Dave Letterman, no less:

"Hello, Dave? Please bring back your old "Museum of the Hard to Believe" NOW, I found another really ridiculous item for you...The Associated Press has put TWO HORSES on their Top Female Athletes of the Year list! What, do these 30 or so editors want to return to a no women in sports era? Wow, are they out of touch, that ship sailed for the last time in the 1940's. --What about Atalanta, enshrined in eons-ago myth? --The hundreds of top echelon female (as in homo sapiens) athletes in many sports around the world?" --Olympic Gold winners?"

(Don't any of you editors have mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins and friends? Would you really wish to limit their choices because of your own insecurities? Strict cultural roles should have died for good when VERY masculine footballer Rosie Grier publicly took up needlepoint. Get up off your lazy (possibly flabby) fannies and get physical; stop spending so much time watching others pursue athletic excellence.)

"What's that, Dave? My pick for Editor of the Year? Mister Ed, natch."

Watch it, AP, I think I REALLY will call Dave.